Nearly overcome with worry - not about his own health, but rather about sickening or severely inconveniencing others - Sharma swabbed his nose, put on a 12-minute piece of classical Indian music that in other circumstances he had found soothing, and tortured himself by imagining himself telling everyone unhappy news. “ou have been identified as having come into close contact with an employee who tested positive for COVID-19,” it read. In a Roslindale house share, one roommate, Akshat Sharma, an immunologist, was still in bed when the e-mail from work arrived on his phone.

“LIKE IS IT POSITIVE OR NOT?! I DONT HAVE THE EMOTIONAL BANDWIDTH FOR THIS RN.”Īll over town, the Swab Chronicles are unfolding: “i can’t tell if there’s a faint pink line on my rapid test or not,” tweeted. “My rapid test turned positive so quickly it actually felt rude,” wrote. Twitter is bursting with rapid test humor and rapid test anxiety. They are trying to decide if it’s worth burning a test on an upcoming gathering - the sad, coronavirus version of Elaine’s “sponge worthy” judgment on “Seinfeld.” “Walgreens has them!” They are gossiping about people who post pictures of negative tests on social media. People are texting their group chats with BinaxNOW alerts. Related : ‘Sorry we are all out of rapid COVID tests.’ Shoppers on the hunt for at-home tests find empty shelves, no stock online They also make us crazy, and over a period of days, they have replaced vaccines and masks as objects of our obsession. Rapid tests are what we need, but they are expensive and scarce. What about you? Is your throat sore, or are you imagining it? And Kevin Raposo’s wife, Rose? She’s positive, too. Senator Elizabeth Warren, and she’s boosted. Your neighbor’s kid in New York City and all of his roommates test positive.

A friend who hasn’t seen the inside of a restaurant since 2019 feels like she’s been hit by a bus. Your sister calls to say your niece is quarantining for the holidays. But how can we keep our cool? Omicron is coming through the floorboards. Not even a whole episode of “The Office.” And yet, a lifetime.

And how stressful you are, sitting on the kitchen counter or the car’s dashboard, weighing your verdict, tick, tick, tick, delivering grave news in a Barbie pink line.įifteen minutes. Oh, rapid at-home tests, how much we need you.

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